aha shake heartbreak

of daring moments, you must have been so tough. "i love you more. no i love you more. not true i love you more. i think you should leave me." how brave you had to be to love me more & leave me with less.  and not recall your departure. a single wanting seed, my years of pleading. i became a tireless fool. maniac for truth. a silent but firm, "No." it took a lot of courage for you to let me make all the moves. i am sorry i hurt you. 

i said out loud those hard words you thought. i had to own them. because one time, i knew you. i live with them now like the roommate you made of me. a bike ride through the park is all i wanted.

si si si

c) by the help of a friend, i just realized color. i know this sounds dumb. but i just realized it, like; there's neon green in my pointer, maybe wine in my thumb, india ink in my pinky. all the ashes, so many blues, saturated by fire, a rose. expressionism: i haven't lost my mind, i've found it & it's not a black and white film.

c) by the help of a friend, i just realized color. i know this sounds dumb. but i just realized it, like; there's neon green in my pointer, maybe wine in my thumb, india ink in my pinky. all the ashes, so many blues, saturated by fire, a rose. expressionism: i haven't lost my mind, i've found it & it's not a black and white film.

c) by the help of a friend, i just realized color. i know this sounds dumb. but i just realized it, like; there's neon green in my pointer, maybe wine in my thumb, india ink in my pinky. all the ashes, so many blues, saturated by fire, a rose. expressionism: i haven't lost my mind, i've found it & it's not a black and white film.

Some mornings I awake, and I hear the rustling of a search for the French press. The oven turns on. I tell myself I'm about to be kissed on my back, and I'll roll over and continue dreaming. 

nouns;

there is a place for me. grass for in-between my toes. a house to call my home. a love that i have grown. a moan within a moan. i have work to do. there are dinners i have yet to make. photos of you to take. a shake within a shake. a person who sees my mistakes. and tells me i am still arijana kajdić. put your hand over my heart, you know? soften me, wherever you are. 

Lutalica moja mala, za tobom bi  išla do kraja, sa tobom bi išla do kraja. 

Morning rituals have returned. In time for my favorite month. I love you, September. No one bothers you. No birthdays, no chapsticks in my Mazda. no treehouse and No sacrificing of fruit. Not even a this is the corner where I pinched your butt and you told me to stop because it's not flirty and you hate it. I've never counted anyone's lashes in September. The eyes nor the outs.  I've always felt the presence of fall in you. Hypnotized by the way you make leaves do their thing, you know, the one where any given street is covered in an orgy of dried up little bodies pulling every one in a directionless rhythm. Dancing with each other. 

confused & consumed by love/ I don't know what's right from wrong/ an interface to tightly woven knits, or nots or tangle, take me to your place I can make you love me/ I can make you loathe me 

how did this happen to me? i bruised you.